We recently received an email that we thought was worth sharing on this forum, both for people who are about to enter the process of designing and building their own home, and for those who have already gone through it and might have experienced something similar to what is described. Here's the letter:
Dear Ms. Susanka,
I just built a McMansion and I didn’t mean to. In fact, I wanted to follow all the design principles of The Not So Big House. But things got away from me and now I live in 4,000 very expensive and large square feet.
How did it happen? Well it’s a long story.
I have always wanted to build a custom home for myself and my family. Looking back I now realize I needed to make that mistake at least once in my life.
We were living in a beautiful gated community. When my children were accepted and began attending a private school that was 14 miles away through very heavy traffic, my wife and I started to look for a new home close to their school. The older homes in the area were totally unappealing to me because of the enormous upkeep they would demand and the new homes were poorly built or over-priced. Along the way we found a lot where an old house had been and torn down before it was put up for sale. We paid Cough! Cough! $350,000 for a lot 100’x100’ narrowing to 60’ on one end. I tell you the price of the lot because a high price signals everyone to the need for a large house.
Next I recruited an architect. Our old house had 4 bedrooms, 3 baths with a formal living room, dining room and a separate loft area all tucked neatly into 2,500 SF. The kids bedrooms were a bit too small so I asked him for about the same features - less the formal living room but plus a modest media room - in about 3,000 SF. Then he went to work.
The odd shape of the lot, the need for a 2 car garage, and the required set backs put some restraints on him. I think our predisposition to think everything’s going to be too small didn’t help either. When he was finished the size had increased to 3,700 SF. We showed the plan around and got comments like “Close in that balcony. You’ll never use it.” or “If you think your’re gonna need it get it now because you won’t be able to add it later”, or my favorite, “It’s lots easier to build it bigger than to build it smaller”. Of course, when we put it out to bid and choked on the initial prices we rushed to reduce the size. But reducing size doesn’t equate with reducing cost. In the end we caved in, went with all the bells and whistles and closed in that balcony to make the final size 4,000 SF.
Assured by everyone that the size was okay I proceeded to contract with a builder. Though I can afford the house I built it cost me about 65% more than I had planned. The extras are in the details like those you propose in your books. Built-in book shelves, a mud room and ceiling decoration make this house ultimately much more special inside and out than you’ll find anywhere in my area.
As construction progressed it didn’t seem we had too much house. Oh, sure, the ceilings were high but 10 feet is the current standard for new houses in our size, price and neighborhood. Sure, the master bedroom is too big but that’s expected in a home in this category. Sure, the bathrooms are enormous but that’s what someone would expect if you went to sell the house. Everything we did was always qualified by comparing our house to some perceived standard all houses in my class should be compared too.
As the house neared completion it became clear it was going to be too big. But, still it seemed we would be okay. And then we moved in. That’s when the excess size really began to feel overwhelming. The house is incredibly uncomfortable. I’ve pulled out your books and I’m starting to think about doing this again.
I take full credit/blame for the mistakes we made in building the Too Big House. Here are some of them:
1. During the design stage don’t be afraid to ask for repeated redesigns until you’ve got the plan you want. Don’t be intimidated by the designer and don’t be like me, too nice and afraid to speak up when you see things you don’t like.
2. Don’t build a house to fit in with the other homes in the neighborhood. The homes may be large and pretentious even in redeveloping neighborhoods like mine, but that doesn’t mean yours has to be. Keep your home to a manageable and comfortable scale.
3. Don’t worry about resale. If you build a quality home no matter the size someone will buy it. And to those who look at their house as an investment I say then go live in an investment. I’ll live in a home thank you very much.
4. Don’t listen to other lay peoples advice. They mean well but you may be tempted to follow their advice to avoid hearing the I-Told-You-So’s later.
5. Read and re-read the Not So Big House books and use the advice from the books before building a new house.
Alas, I have what I have and now must learn to live with it, at least for a couple of years. Know that my wife loves the house, oversized as it is.
Sincerely,
J
This message has been edited. Last edited by: notsobig,
